random

..There i go, after a reallly loong time!! As always i dont kno wat i am going to write or made me want to write....offlate, I am just feeling a bit,out of place. Its like, i have had a jolt and i am out of my proper shape,,,i dont fit the jigsaw puzzle perfectly! What is it that has made me into this?

I make frantic calls to frns, oly for realising the next minute that i really dont have anything to talk to them....
I seem soo vibrant and active in everything i do, yet i am not involved in it at all...
...I seem to search for a particular face or voice in someone else's...and i get disappointed when i fail..
sometimes there are soo many voices in my head asking me to do two contradictory things at the same time and sometimes they are soo silent, that i feel i am a vegetable..
There is this constant gnawing factor that's slowing eating me up, not allowing me to undo redo or move on with things,,,its like a plastic ball immersed in water,,,it keeps surfacing up,,,
Its like I want to make a connection to that someone out in the oblivion...madly trying to reach out to them..waving hands at them...wanting to get hold of them and never let them go...
the pangs of furstration at oneself..the stab of betrayal one feels when they know that its not in their power to get hold of that one thing..that excruciating sense of failure when one cant get grab the desire,,,i feel it all! totally!
....Its the disappointment that one feels when they are not able to show the people who smirked at them for their dreams, throw the reality on their face and tell them...'ha, you see i win!!'...in spite of winning...thats the madness i undergo.
this random thought/thoughts, what are they!?!?!...
They make me smile, they make sigh, they make me dream, they cause pain, they make me feel like a loser, they make me cry,,,,,they make ME!

If not for this randomness, i might have never known the hidden part of me, all my life!

Abba echoed the thoughts of my best friend...

Chiquitita lyrics
Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love's a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita



I love you mahima:) you are the best that has ever happened to me:):)