Sunday, January 20, 2008
.....hmmm....i don't exactly know what i am going to pour out in this post...i am not in a state of mind wherein i am just clueless as to what to express...whereas i am in such a state where there are sooo many pent up feelings...soo many bottled up feelings that are cramming my mind so much so that i don't know which to quote first...which should follow it and so on....though i am anything but pepped up...i am still amused by the power of mind......realised that however open you are as a person from outside...one's mind is very very secretive ...he refuses to share what he is cooking sometimes even to the soul he belongs to...this really fascinates me...as in...i dint realise i have been soo down in dumps inside...that one trivial incident makes you soo touchy that you try to flush all the woes out of your system @ one go ....it looks as if.....either..there is a dearth of tears that you wait for a handful of depressing things to happen and shed few drops of tears for all those at a stretch...or...one's pre-calculative mind seems to store its only mode of communication
for the "future woes";):p...whatever be it...no matter how confused a person we are...our inner mind has crystal clear vision...sees and foresees things....angst arises only when the heart finds it hard to take the bitter dosage the mind injects!!.....recently i found another thought puzzling.....when someone used to pose me a question till recently as to "what is it in the entire world that will hurt you the most.???"..me being someone with rigid principles would have said blindly "anyone who breaks my trust!!!"...but on after thoughts...i realised..when does one say..someone broke your trust???..only when you depend on them with your heart and soul and they dint prove worthy of it?!!!....,..and if the person you depend on is absolutely lovely and worth it....you must be rejoiced and stress-free...should'nt you??!!??....but sadly that does'nt happen most of the times...or atleast with ppl who see from my eyes...i find dependency itself being a stressful thing...when they don't reciprocate...you feel let down...and when they do...you feel obligated or vulnerable so much so that you forget being practical and refuse to think of a life which mite exist when you part ways....that blind love becomes!!!...sighhhhh....trust and dependency are a beautiful paradox by themselves!!!........sigggghhhhhhhh!!!...but you know what steals the show??!!???....the mind that thinks so much..analyzes so much....sees with so much of foresight and one that is so very overwhelmingly powerful....loses miserably and pathetically in front of the heart.....which will keep on and on loving and expecting only love in return!!!